Yeah, it should, because I am fat. No two ways about it.

I have lots of excuses, though. First, genetics. If you lined up my two brothers and me, and a cardboard cutout of our deceased father, the familial profile could not be denied. Second, I’m a couple of years beyond the half-century mark, and my metabolism is slowing down. Third, I live in a neighborhood with unlimited dining opportunities, and I am weak, weak, weak. So very weak.

However, the primary reason I’m fat is because I am not only unable to exercise enough to burn any meaningful amount of calories. Worse, I don’t even burn those base calories that healthy people do just by being themselves all day – by walking around, climbing stairs, preparing meals, getting dressed, holding a telephone up to their ear, typing. You get the picture.

I’ve tried lots of diets over the years. Probably the most effective has been Weight Watchers. I’ve done that two or three times, and I’m sick of it. I needed something new to motivate me. Enter, Jenny Craig. You heard me, freaking Jenny Craig.

The Jenny Craig model is similar to Weight Watchers, in that you eat small portions, frequently throughout the day. You can enjoy almost any food you want, as long as it is in moderation. But the big difference with Jenny Craig is that you don’t count your points or your calories or any other characteristic of the food. You just buy all of your food from Jenny, and it comes in nutritionally balanced, appropriately sized portions. Radical? A little.

I can’t purchase my food from Jenny for the rest of my life. And they know this. Once I get close to my target weight, they promise to help me transition back to the real world and keep the weight off. That’s the real challenge.

How’s it taste, you ask? For microwave food – not bad. In fact, I’ll miss some of it, especially the breakfasts and the triple chocolate cheesecake. It’s fairly expensive. I spend about $150 a week on my food. But this cost is significantly deferred, if not completely offset, by how infrequently I now eat out.

How’s the weight loss going? Slow but steady. I’m losing about a pound a week, and I’m currently down 17 pounds. My goal is to lose 30, so I just crossed the halfway mark. Wondering how I go about weighing myself? Once a month I drive my wheelchair onto a wheelchair scale located at a medical office in Portland. I know the weight of my chair, so I just do the math each time.

I wish I could report that this weight loss has been a life-changing experience, but it hasn’t, not yet. I can see the difference in my face. My clothes don’t fit noticeably looser, however, and I can’t say that I “feel better.” But I know this is the right thing to do, for so many reasons, and I’m pleased with my progress thus far.

I’ll report back when I’ve hit my goal, which probably won’t be until early summer. In the meantime, when I ask you if this blog post makes me look fat, it’s okay to lie.